Jamie Deering, Area Mental Health Connector.

It was 82 degrees outside in June as I swept the floor for the last time.  My car housed my suitcase that I’d live out of for the next 6 weeks.  All my other belongings had been picked up the day before and put in storage.  With one last long loving look at the expansive lake view, I said goodbye to my lake home of three years; a place I thought I would enjoy much longer.  With tears flowing, I turned to my neighbor and friend and slowly got into the car loaded with our kayaks and headed for a 19-mile river paddle. Other friends joined in as I let my sorrow carry me along the river. That day, I leaned into paddling and resting, laboring and floating in a sense of grief and grace. I felt deeply that there was nothing more “to do” than to simply be present to all I was feeling: To bear witness to the process of letting go.

I wasn’t ready for big change. Life circumstances changed and asked me to tack in a new direction. Tacking, also called coming about, is turning your boat in a new direction so that you can sail toward the direction of the wind. For me, whether it’s tacking in my kayak or in my life, it’s a desire to center my living in the flow of God’s love. It’s not always easy; and often, the direction is not clear. 

Navigating the waters of change in my life has come through consistent, life-giving contemplative practices begun nearly 40 years ago. The breadth and depth of my practices have been the centripetal force sustaining transformation during life’s turbulence.  

The practices of being with my thoughts without judgement, getting on the water and being with the world around me, walking as I feel my feet connecting to earth, talking with trusted friends and family, and being creative through practices like SoulCollage® have all supported me as I navigated unfamiliar territory.  I especially value the first minutes of my day—spent letting my thoughts drift by and tending to a sense of God with me.

I have navigated other big changes in my life. I can imagine you have, too. You might be thinking about your own life changes and the practices or rhythms that have helped you navigate them, moving grief and pain up and out. For me, it’s important to remember there is nothing I need to “do” to help grief along except tend to what I am thinking, feeling, and sensing. Sometimes I journal, or find a podcast or book to explore a new quieting practice to stay present to the meaning coming from my experiences.

Sensing God’s presence with me comes in bird calls saying, “I am here.” Sometimes, it’s being carried by the river saying, “You are held.” At other times, it’s conversation with family and friends where I’m seen and heard saying, “You are loved.”

Sometimes we choose our new direction—and sometimes it chooses us. With open mind, heart, and spirit, we re-member in God’s sustaining love as we tack. Our spiritual practices of listening, attending, opening, releasing, and allowing without attachment keep us steady in experiences of the compassion, love, and grace of Presence in us, with us, through us, and for us, others, and the world. In this way, we choose freedom in the space between stimulus and response, as Viktor Frankl would say.

I’m in a new home, meeting neighbors and creating space that feels meaningful and alive. I’ve started connecting with you as the Area Mental Health Connector in great hope and excitement for the ways we will dive in and explore what it means to care for ourselves. This can be done mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as whole and holy beings created in the boundless Love of God—and, grounded in that Love, being carried into deeper kinship with one another and the world. 
Further Resources:
SoulCollage: An artistic, creative way to explore and understand the inner workings of you!

Jamie Deering is the area mental health connector for the Dakotas-Minnesota Area of The United Methodist Church. You can reach her at Jamie Deering.