“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2

Dr. Stephanie Moore

One of the most meaningful parts of my work has been leading support groups for women who spend much of their lives caring for everyone else.

At first glance, many people would never guess how much these women are carrying.

They are nurses, therapists, school counselors, ministry leaders, insurance agents, stay-at-home parents, healthcare workers, corporate executives, authors, and community leaders. They are the people others often depend on for strength, comfort, leadership, problem-solving, emotional support, and stability.

And many of them are exhausted.

My current women’s support group has grown to 19 women. What continually strikes me is how many of them entered the group believing they were the only one struggling beneath the surface. Despite appearing capable and strong to the outside world, many quietly battle anxiety, burnout, relationship struggles, codependency patterns, domestic violence situations, loneliness, compassion fatigue, emotional abuse, or even suicidal thoughts.

These are not “weak” people. In fact, many are exceptionally compassionate, intelligent, resilient, faith-filled, and high-functioning individuals who have spent years holding space for others while having very little space to safely fall apart themselves.

One thing I have learned both personally and professionally is this: helpers often know how to create support for everyone except themselves.

Pastors lead Bible studies and coordinate supportive groups in the ministry but may not have one of their own. Therapists sit with others’ pain all day while quietly carrying their own stress home. Caregivers and ministry leaders spend years checking on everyone else while convincing themselves they should simply “handle it.”

Over time, this creates deep isolation.

Many helpers begin feeling like they must always be composed, wise, patient, spiritually grounded, or emotionally available. They fear burdening others, appearing weak, disappointing people, or being misunderstood. Some begin suppressing their own emotions so thoroughly that they lose touch with what they actually need.

But healing was never meant to happen alone.

Throughout Scripture, we repeatedly see the importance of shared burdens, honest lament, rest, and community. Even Jesus withdrew, sought solitude, and surrounded Himself with trusted people. We were not designed to constantly pour out emotionally without also being poured into.

One of the most powerful things I witness in support groups is the moment someone realizes they no longer have to pretend.

The moment a woman says, “I thought I was the only one.”
The moment someone finally cries after holding everything together for years.
The moment shame begins dissolving because others quietly nod in understanding.

There is something deeply healing about safe community.

Not advice. Not fixing. Not perfection.
Just safe, honest presence.

In many ways, support groups become a reminder that emotional and spiritual health grow best in environments where people feel emotionally safe enough to be human.

Over the years, I have found three things especially important for helpers and leaders:

First, every person needs at least one space where they are not responsible for taking care of everyone else emotionally. Whether that is therapy, a support group, trusted friendships, peer support, or spiritual direction, we all need spaces where we can exhale honestly.

Second, isolation intensifies suffering. Shame often convinces people to hide their struggles, but healing tends to happen in safe connection. The nervous system itself begins calming when we feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe with others.

Third, boundaries are not selfish; they are protective. Many people in helping professions are incredibly compassionate but struggle to recognize when constant emotional giving is harming their own well-being. Sustainable compassion requires replenishment.

One thing I remind my groups often is this: being strong does not mean never struggling. Sometimes strength looks like finally admitting you are tired. Sometimes it looks like asking for support before you completely burn out.

The people who hold everyone else together deserve support too.

If you are a pastor, caregiver, leader, parent, therapist, or helper who feels emotionally stretched thin, I hope you know this: you do not have to carry everything alone. You deserve spaces where you are cared for, listened to, supported, and safe enough to simply be human too.

Stephanie Moore is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Mental Health (LPC-MH), EMDR-certified therapist, and founder of Moore Counseling Group in South Dakota with locations in both Sioux Falls and Rapid City. She specializes in trauma-informed care, EMDR therapy, nervous system regulation, and supporting individuals, caregivers, and ministry leaders navigating stress, trauma, burnout, and emotional overwhelm. To learn more about Stephanie and services offered, go to moorecounselinggroup.com